Do You Know What Real Music is?
One day driving around, gallivanting in my old pickup truck with my brother, we got into quite the heated discussion about the music that we listen to. My brother boldly claimed “That is not real music, I just don’t understand how you could listen to it.” I was physically taken back that such an abhorrent comment could be made about county music star Merle Haggard.
At first I was completely disgusted by his remark especially considering some of his first choices when he gets AUX. (Its bad, like cheesy cover songs from the 80s bad) But then I started to get sort of interested in what he meant by his atrocious statement. Did he really feel like Merle Haggard’s songs weren’t real music? Does he just like his music better?
Then he attempted to explain his point of view a little bit more because he saw the expression of absolute and pure disdain on my face . He said “I just don’t like the sound of it, it’s just not good. I just can’t bring myself to understand it.” These statements did nothing but further repulse me.
Given the dense nature of both me and my brother’s heads that argument could still be raging to this day, but I had a temporary moment of clarity. I came to the realization that not everyone listens to music in the same way. Me being a musician, I listen to music much differently than my brother does.
We might pick apart different parts of the song, notice things that other people may not notice, or listen to it on different levels of understanding entirely. So creating a sort of guide to give people a sense of the important things that really make up music might prove to be advantageous to people who perhaps just casually listen to music and want to know if the music they like is “real”. So I have compiled a list of aspects that make up “real music” so you can really know what you are listening to and if you actually have taste.
- Music must be made by a Musician:
Yup, you heard it here first folks. Music isn’t made by top-class heart surgeons, garbage truck workers, nor any normal person, no. You must learn your instrument for years and do nothing else but practice for 16 hours a day, in hopes that you one day transcend your normal state of being and join The Beatles in the true state of musicianship. Then, and only then can you begin to make proper music. Simple as that.
2. The writer must have True breakthrough influence:
Let me tell you what real music can’t be; derivative, just be catchy, or just sound nice to your ears. “Real music” has to come only from the inner soul. It must come from your own creative mind. Many musicians get contacted by what seems to be a greater creative power. For example, when Paul McCartney wrote the hit song “Yesterday” which is widely revered as one of the best Beatles songs ever written, he received the melody and idea for the song in his dreams. This is the way music must be written, breakthroughs and celestial creativity people, that’s the only way.
3. Music must belong to a Genre:
Music has certain stead-fast rules that you must follow, one of them is that the songs a musician writes must belong to a certain genre. Whether it’s down and dirty, driving a truck on a dirt road with a bud light in hand country music, or its the hair teased up, spandex up butt-crack, crack-snorting, squealy guitar sounds of 80s rock, it has to fit in with something. When making songs you must keep this in mind and take the rules of your genre into account. The music industry would absolutely go into shambles if you were to not adhere to these rules and create songs freely.
4. Music must have instruments:
Are you joking? This one is plain out obvious. Music has always been made with instruments and that is how it will continue to be made. Musicians need them in order to truly express themselves. Having a real interface in which you learn to express yourself on is essential to music. Even though technology is advancing and what not, you can’t make real music by sitting behind a laptop. You have to be expressing yourself with a plank of wood with strings attached to it or by banging on the top of wooden barrels. And who even knows how to use those computers anyways? Nerds, and as we established “real music” is only made by musicians.
5. Musicians must use their instruments correctly:
On top of just the presence of instruments in music, just like how you must obey the rules of genres there are certain rules you must follow to use your instrument correctly. You can’t just do whatever you want with an instrument and call it music. There are just certain rules that you must follow to play your instrument correctly. “But what if I discovered a really cool and unique technique and want to share it with the world?” What are you talking about? So help me God I will hit you over the head with the musical technique book that you should have read before asking me that question.
From this I hoped you have gained at least a little bit more insight as to what is really important when it comes to music. Now next time you listen to your favorite few songs you can really figure out whether you listen to real music or if you have been a fraud this whole time and you need to reevaluate your life decisions.
